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~~STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY!!~~
"Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it seems as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly...
Yesterday
Life was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday"
~Yesterday, The Beatles
Chapter Four
Hiei awoke early the next morning with a raging headache that told him that he should be asleep. He sat up slowly and rubbed his forehead keeping his eyes closed. The dream... He tried to open his eyes, but the glare of the morning sun shot bolts of pain through his already-sore head. The fire demon immediately shut his eyes tightly. Maybe the dream WAS a dream... he thought.
Not relishing the thought of opening his eyes again, the fire demon just sat there, contemplating the last few days. Kurama hasn't talked to me since I got back from the Makai. Maybe the kitsune was upset that Hiei had been gone for longer than he normally was, but there was a good reason for that. The entire point of his romp to the Makai, unknown to Kurama, had been to tell Mukuro that he could no longer be her heir. The sanjiyan had gotten sick of having to go on mission after mission that kept him from the Ningenkai, and Kurama, for months at a time.
Relinquishing his title to Mukuro had taken all of about ten minutes. The rest of his week had been spent gathering his few belongings one-by-one while dodging Mukuro's goons. Just before leaving the Makai, Hiei had heard, via the Makai 'grapevine', that Mukuro had chosen another heir, who was threatening to seek out and destroy the fire demon. After that, the sanjiyan had vowed to never again enter the Makai...At least, not until Kurama's ningen body died and he became the Youko.
Hiei reluctantly risked opening his eyes again. This time the pain wasn't so bad, and he kept them open. And realized that he was sitting on the living room sofa. It wasn't just a dream... he thought dejectedly. The fire demon let himself lay back on the couch. Maybe if I tell Kurama what happened in the Makai, he won't be upset with me anymore... Hiei resolved to tell the kitsune when he woke up.
The fire demon got up and warmed up a bowl of the delicious leftover cheese soup that his sister had prepared, leaving enough for Kurama to eat when he got up. As he took to bowl out of the microwave, the phone began to ring. Hiei ignored it, as he never answered the phone. Kurama wasn't awake to pick it up, and the answering machine kicked on. The bowl of soup crashed to the floor unnoticed as the person on the phone began to speak.
Kurama awoke as the phone rang. He glanced at the clock. Who would be calling at 8:30? he wondered as he stretched. He decided to let the answering machine get it. Besides, I need to talk to Hiei... The kitsune slowly got up as the phone rang for a fifth and final time, then stopped as the answering machine kicked on.
His blood ran cold as the person calling started to leave a message. "Shuuichi, dear. It's Tesia. Your mother decided that your fiance should have your phone number." A crash came from the kitchen. Kurama jumped up and ran out of the bedroom. The message continued. "...a lot to do today, love. Call your mother's house. I'm there right now. Love you." The answering machine clicked off as Kurama reached the kitchen.
Hiei stood in the middle of the kitchen with a look of total shock on his face. As Kurama entered the room, the fire demo looked his way and stared at him with the most forlorn, hurt look that Kurama had ever seen on anyone. "Hiei..." Kurama whispered hoarsely. He walked forward a step. "Hiei, let me explain-"
The fire demon backed away, shaking his head. "No." His voice was a choked whisper.
"Hiei, please!" Kurama carefully stepped over the soup spill and broken pieces of the ceramic bowl.
Hiei backed up even more and covered his ears with clenched fists. "NO!" he screamed.
"Hiei-"
"NO!" The fire demon's back bumped the counter. He stood there for a second, looking bewildered and lost, then disappeared. An ebony tear gem clattered to the floor where he had been standing. That and the open window were the only things that marked his having been there.
Kurama stood staring at the tear gem for a second, then slumped forward to his knees. No...He's gone! Why didn't I tell him before?! The kitsune knelt there for a long time, replaying the hurt look on his lover's face in his mind over and over and over again, anguish and loss seeping into his body. He'd never believe me now...Even if I could find him... The fox picked up the tear gem. I've lost him... Liquid tears streamed down Kurama's face, not even beginning to tap the despair that filled him to the brink. "No."
Hiei stumbled barefoot through the forest, not even seeing where he was or the direction in which he was headed. Unconsciously, he ran toward the temple, to the only person left in all three worlds that he could trust. Yukina.
His foot caught on a root, and he fell, but scrambled to his feet and continued running, his panicked mind believing that the root had been Kurama. Jumping across a stream, he landed on some jagged racks, tearing up his feet badly. He barely felt the pain and continued running.
After a while, he tripped on some stairs. Glancing at them, he realized where he was and entered the temple. He limped to the shrine room, leaving tracks of mud and blood on the wood floor, and sat in a corner, trying to rid his mind of the woman's voice calling his Kurama 'dear' and 'love', and failing miserably. Who am I kidding..? He's not MY Kurama anymore...He's HER Shuuichi.
The fire demon sobbed into his knees.
Yukina awoke early, and immediately felt her brother's ki in the temple. Oniisan's up early... she thought, dressing quickly. As she left her bedroom, she saw bloody footprints leading toward the shrine. Is Hiei-san hurt?! she wondered, her heart pounding with concern for her elder twin. She ran to the shrine room, which was rather dark, and looked around.
A small sobbing sound made her glance to a corner of the room. Hiei sat there, his legs hugged to his chest, and his face hidden behind his knees. Smears of blood stained the floor around his feet. The fire demon's body shuddered as Yukina stared at him.
The tremble broke her trance, and she ran to him and knelt beside him, not even noticing that blood was staining her sky blue kimono. "Oniisan! Oniisan, what happened? What's wrong?" He didn't respond to her questions, and sat there, trembling violently. Yukina drew her brother into a hug, instinctively knowing that Hiei's sorrow had something to do with Kurama. "What happened to Kurama."
The fire demon stopped shaking and looked up at her with bloodshot, sunken eyes. Then he laughed hollowly, the sound shaking Yukina to the bone. "'What happened to Kurama?'" He laughed again, the sound even sadder than the last. "It doesn't matter anymore," he said softly. "Nothing does." With that, he closed his mouth, and withdrew from himself.
Yukina stared at her brother, trying to puzzle out his cryptic remark. "Oniisan, what do you mean?" Hiei's red eyes stared through her, taking on a catatonic look. The fire demon had withdrawn, into his mind. He doesn't want me to reach him... she thought. After a moment, she hardened her resolve. But I'm going to! I may not be a telepath, but I'm his twin!
With those thoughts, the Koorime withdrew into her mind, and felt along the link that had always connected her to her brother until she was in his mind. Once there, she proceeded to look for him. :Hiei?: she called, over and over again, getting no response as she looked for him in the jumble of memories, bad and good.
Finally, she found him in a far, dark corner of his mind, surrounded by memories of Kurama. Yukina avoided looking at them, trying to give her brother some semblance of privacy. :'Niisan? Why are you here? What are you doing?:
Hiei didn't answer for a moment. Finally, he replied, :Trying to see where things went wrong.: He realized who he was 'talking' to. :How did you get here?:
:You know that we are linked. What do you mean 'where things went wrong'? What happened between you and Kurama?:
Bitterness surrounded her, and she realized that he was very upset. :He's getting married. That's why he was so cold toward me. He doesn't love me anymore...Maybe he never loved me in the first place. But that's why he acted that way towards me.:
The Koorime's thoughts reeled. :How do you know? Did he tell you?: Her mind was suddenly blasted away by memories that were most certainly not hers. The sound of a girl named Tesia calling Kurama 'dear', and Kurama trying to grab him in the kitchen. A forlorn little thought reached her. :It's my fault. I was away for too long on too many missions, and he lost interest in me. It's all my fault...
Yukina was shocked. :Oh, 'Niisan! It's not your fault!:
Hiei 'laughed' sadly. :Everything's my fault. Everything. Just leave me alone:
:Oniisan, I can't leave you alone. I love you! Please come back and we'll figure something out. I can't bear to see you like this!:
:How long would you love me?: Hiei asked bitterly. :Until you find someone better? Until you decide that the Koorime were right and I am an abomination? If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that love comes with a limited warrantee.:
Yukina wanted to cry, but held it back. :You may feel that way. And you have a right to, with all the sorrow you've gone through. But you've always said that you wanted to protect me from harm, and let me tell you that seeing you so sad and depressed hurts more than ANYTHING ever could!: Yukina was losing control of her tears. It's up to you, whether or not you come back, but I'm asking you to come back for me.: Yukina left Hiei alone in his mind, returning to her own mind.
A few minutes after Yukina regained consciousness, Hiei came out of his catatonic state. He sat on the floor for a few minutes, staring at his hands, then looked at his sister. A black tear gem fell to her kimono. "What did I do wrong? How could he do this to me?"
Yukina held her brother close, wishing that she could shield him from the pain, until he fell asleep. The Koorime healed Hiei's torn feet, then picked him up and carried him to a futon.
He didn't even change out of his nightclothes. The Koorime decided that, when Hiei awoke, she would have him compile a list of things that he needed from Kurama's apartment. Then, after calling to make sure the kitsune was home, she would get the fire demon's possessions for him.
*sigh* Poor Hiei-chan. *the suspicious sound of someone munching on popcorn can be heard* Grrr...I just had to get the highly sophisticated, sarcastic, pain-in-the-ass computer, didn't I (don't I wish)? Ah, well. I'm thoroughly enjoying myself here. I need to finish this fic, then Ushinatta, then Doomsday Picnic...Argh! I'm never going to finish these fics! Er...Actually, Thayet-chan and Hikari-chan will probably make me...Daaaa! Oh, well, on to the next chapter!
On to Chapter Five
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