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Disclaimer: The song Turn Back Time belongs to Aqua and anyone else who helped to produce it. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.
Give me time to reason,
Give me time to think it through...
[Hiei sits in a tree in the Makai, thinking about the past, long gone now. He wonders whether or not he did the right thing in leaving the Ningenkai.]
Passing through the season,
Where I cheated you...
[Kurama sits by his window, watching the snow fall. It's been a year since that ill-fated winter night. So many days since Hiei left the Ningenkai. A move that Kurama had caused him to make.]
I will always have a cross to wear,
[Hiei's heart is burdened by all of his misfortune. Misfortune that has built up since the day he was born. He remembers how, at one time, Kurama had taken away his sorrow. But those days are over.]
But the bolt reminds me I was there...
[Kurama tries to forget, to move on. But every time he nearly succeeds, something reminds him of the fire demon that he hurt exactly a year ago.]
So give me strength,
To face this test tonight...
[Hiei looks up in surprise as snow begins to fall. He realizes that this is the exact same day that the fateful event happened. The day he left. Snow continues to fall, swirling around Hiei like lost dream swirl in his mind.]
If only I could turn back time...
[Kurama watches the snow fall, mesmerized. He is helpless to turn away when memory takes him. Memory of something that he had failed to do.]
If only I had said what I still hide...
[Hiei is lost in a swirl of memories that he doesn't want to remember. He is helpless to fight them. Memory of feelings still hidden within his soul, feelings that were rejected on a night like this so long ago.]
If only I could turn back time..
I would stay for the night...
[A single tear runs its course down Kurama's cheek as the redhead remembers his reaction to Hiei's unexpected confession. He knows that the Jaganshi's words had not come easily; expressing feelings was difficult for Hiei. But Kurama had jumped away in shock, not believing what he had heard. It had been something he had wanted to hear for a long time, but he had never dared to hope. Mistaking the redhead's reaction for rejection, Hiei had disappeared, never returning.]
For the night..
Claim your right to science...
[Hiei wonders if his departure was too hasty. He had been a bit out of character. Not to mention the fact that he had drunk a liberal amount of sake before daring to go to Kurama. Maybe the fox had just been startled...No...Wishful thinking would just make him depressed when it turned out to be untrue. Like the last time. Kurama never lost his composure, and he's a kitsune. Nothing could surprise him. Hiei pushes the thought from his mind.]
Claim your right to see the truth...
Though my pangs of conscience,
Will drill a hole in you...
[Kurama smiles bitterly as he remembers the pained, horrified look on Hiei's face. Hiei...You should have known me better. Kurama had loved the Jaganshi from the beginning. He had flirted shamelessly with Hiei, even though he had never gotten a response. Do you think I treat everybody like that, itooshi? Kurama closes his eyes as he remembers the sanjiyan's low self-esteem and high self-hatred, realizing that his friend had never realized. It's Kurama's fault...He should have kept his cool. Now it's too late...]
I seen it coming like a thief in the night,
I seen it coming from the flash of your light...
[Hiei shakes his head, wanting only to forget. He runs, trying to escape his past, knowing that it will catch up with him. It does as he stops in front of a Makai rose bush, a bush that blooms even in winter. The delicate flowers are as red as Kurama's hair. Hiei picks one, lifting it to his nose and breathing in the beautiful scent. Red roses stand for love, Hiei... The memory pops up unbidden, and Hiei wonders about the red roses that Kurama had given him on occasion...Was that what he had meant..? Hiei shakes his head angrily, running away. He doesn't even feel the pain of the rose thorns as he clenches his fists.]
So give me strength,
To face this test tonight...
[Kurama watches the snow fall. In the back of his mind is a picture of Hiei. He knows that he has to find the Jaganshi or die trying, or his life will remain forever incomplete. He opens the window and jumps out, heading toward the portal to the Makai.]
If only I could turn back time...
[Hiei jerks awake and sobs as he remembers his dream. He fights back tears, refusing to cry for his own stupidity of trusting a kitsune. The dream pushes through his weak defenses and he is helpless to fight anymore. The Jaganshi collapses, sobbing helplessly against the trunk of the tree. He had dreamed of that night, only it had ended differently. With Kurama accepting his love and loving him back.]
If only I had said what I still hide...
If only I could turn back time...
[Kurama knows that he has to undo what was done. He runs through the Makai, searching for Hiei's ki. He wishes he had reacted differently in the first place. Then none of this would be necessary.]
I would stay for the night...
[A bitter taste fills Hiei's throat as he remembers that night again, and the tears continue to flow. The Jaganshi can't stop them, now that they've come. He wishes that he had stayed and done something more, anything that would have taken away the heaviness in his heart.]
For the night...
[Kurama runs through the mist, not really seeing where he was going, only knowing that he was heading toward his itooshi's ki. He needed to correct the mistake he had made a year before in not accepting the Jaganshi's love. He felt tears running down his cheeks; tears cried for Hiei. He should have made the fire demon stay...grabbed him before he reached the window. But regrets were pointless now. He couldn't exactly go back and change what had happened.]
The bolt reminds me I was there
[He still doesn't understand why Kurama rejected him. Had he misread the fox? Kurama had always teased him, seemingly flirting. Hiei had watched and thought about it for years before actually attempting to do anything about it. And he'd been wrong. He'd done something stupid again, as usual. Hiei passes out with exhaustion, tears finally spent.]
The bolt reminds me I was there
[Kurama finally reaches Hiei's tree. He stops and stares, frozen, as he sees the tear gems that litter the ground around the trunk. Proof of the suffering that the fox has caused the one he loves more than life itself. The redhead shakes himself from his stupor and jumps up into the tree.]
If only I could turn back time...
[Hiei stirs as he feels his branch move. He sees a dark shape move near him, but he does nothing. Why bother? His life has no meaning. "Go ahead and kill me," he whispers before passing out again.]
If only I had said what I still hide...
[Tears flow down Kurama's cheeks as he realizes just how much he hurt his Jaganshi. So much that Hiei doesn't want to live. Kurama hardens his resolve and gathers the unconscious sanjiyan in his arms. He runs back toward the portal, determined to prove his love.]
If only I could turn back time...
[Hiei awakes to find himself on a soft surface. Is this death..? he wonders. Slowly, he opens his eyes to find himself in Kurama's bedroom, with Kurama watching him. Hiei closes his eyes again, sure that this is just the same painful dream repeating itself again. He decides to make the best of it. Perhaps he could live in this dream until he died. He opens his eyes to see Kurama again. And finds that it is not the same dream. Kurama's face is tearstained. "Hiei...I'm sorry for what I did...I love you..." Hiei just looks away, waiting to wake up.]
I would stay for the night...
[Kurama frowns at the Jaganshi's reaction, wondering aloud what is wrong with him. Hiei stares at him. "I'm waiting for the dream to end..." he responds softly. Kurama gasps and gathers the sanjiyan in his arms, cuddling him as he assures him that this is not a dream. Hiei's looks at him with eyes that are filled with pain, but, as Kurama looks into those beautiful crimson eyes, a new hope fills them. The screen darkens as the two who were destined to be lovers kiss. Both know that this love will last beyond death.]
For the night...
Another songfic! I'm on a roll here!
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