The Hardest Thing

By Rose Thorne

~~STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY!!~~

"I will love you more than that
I won't say those words, then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that"
~More Than That, Backstreet Boys


Hiei awoke with a start and sat up. Slowly he opened his eyes into more darkness. The fire demon lifted a shaking hand to his face, feeling bandages covering his eyes with his callused fingers. His other injuries were gone.

The sanjiyan realized that he had no idea where he was. He was sitting on something soft. Further investigation revealed that Hiei was on a bed...But he had no clue as to where that bed was.

The fire demon sat for a long time, listening. He heard nothing but his own breathing and the steady tick-tock of a nearby clock. I'm in the Ningenkai... he realized.

Finally, Hiei carefully slid off the bed and slowly moved forward, feeling with his hands to find some purchase. After what seemed like an eternity, the sanjiyan's hands touched something. Hiei quickly discovered that it was a wall. Leaning against it gratefully, he rested for a moment. Walls lead to doors, the fire demon thought, relieved.

He slowly followed the wall, carefully feeling ahead so he wouldn't bump into anything. His hand suddenly touched something that yielded ahead of him. A loud crash made him freeze.

Hiei heard faint, muffled footsteps headed toward him. A door opened nearby. Hiei tensed, his fingernails biting into his palms as he fought the urge to run.

* * *

Yukina stepped into the bedroom to see Hiei standing near the wall. A broken lamp lay on the floor in front of him. A panicked look passed over her brother's face as the Koorime advanced. She stopped and spoke, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Hiei-oniisan? Are you okay?"

Hiei sighed, his relief evident in his face. "Hn..."

Yukina smiled and approached him, carefully skirting the broken glass. "Let me help you, 'Niisan," she said softly, taking his hands and healing the bloody crescents his fingernails had made in his palm. The boy hesitated, then nodded. The Koorime led her brother from Kurama's bedroom, taking him into the kitchen and helping him sit at the table.

The fire demon leaned back in the chair, practically trembling with exhaustion. Damn, that took a lot out of me. Hiei frowned. Despite his blindness, the place seemed familiar, though he knew that it wasn't the temple. "Where are we?" the fire demon asked, almost dreading the answer.

Yukina sighed softly before answering. "We're at Kurama's apartment."

"Nani?!" Hiei looked shocked and angry. "Why?! I never want to see that bastard again!" He suddenly chuckled bitterly as he realized what he'd said. "Not that I'll ever see anything."

Yukina looked away, fighting back tears at her brother's pain. "Onegai, 'Niisan! Let me explain!"

Hiei was silent for a long moment. Then he shrugged, sighing. "Fine. Explain away."

"Hiei, Kurama never had any intention of marrying that...person. His mother was trying to force him into it." Hiei snorted disbelievingly. "The girl, Tesia, called before he could do anything, and you left before he could explain."

The fire demon scowled, but didn't interrupt his sister. "After I came to get your possessions, he went to his parents and told them he couldn't marry Tesia. He told them about you." Yukina paused for a moment. "'Niisan, they disowned him!"

Hiei frowned. "He lied! His mother-"

Yukina interrupted him. "Hiei, I called! They really did disown him!"

Hiei kept his face expressionless, refusing to admit, even to himself, that he felt anything for the fox. "So what?"

Yukina saw through to his heart, but said nothing about it. "I told him that you'd gone to the Makai, and he went after you. He killed Hikoni and brought you back, 'Niisan!" Yukina wiped away a few tears as Hiei turned his face away. "I've never seen him so upset! He was terrified that you wouldn't survive. He's still afraid that you may have lost your sight. He blames himself, 'Niisan."

Hiei spoke, keeping his face averted. "Where is he?" the fire demon asked gruffly.

Yukina flinched. "He...he went grocery shopping. I think he was afraid to be here when you woke up."

Hiei ran his hand over the bandages covering his eyes, turning to Yukina. "Take them off."

The Koorime blanched. "Hiei..."

Hiei clenched his fist, frowning. "Yukina, I need to know!"

The Koorime swallowed hard, but did as he asked, slowly removing the bandages.

Hiei slowly opened his eyes, hoping against all odds. His heart fell as he saw only more darkness.

Yukina watched as anguish flickered across her brother's face, not touching his useless eyes. "G-gomen nasai, Oniisan." The girl paused. "You might get your sight back later on..."

"Don't try to humor me." Hiei rose and felt his way from the kitchen, trying to call up a memory of the layout of Kurama's apartment. Yukina hurried after him and tried to help him, but the sanjiyan gently pushed her away. "I have to do this."

The fire demon continued on his way, moving agonizingly slow. The uncertainty of every step made Hiei feel as if he were in danger of falling. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he felt the back of the couch. Carefully, he walked around and sank into the sofa. He realized with shock that he was totally exhausted.

Yukina watched as her brother curled up on the couch, falling asleep almost immediately. She gently covered him with an afgan, then wiped tears from her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Hiei," she whispered, leaving the room to clean up the broken glass on the bedroom floor.

* * *

Kurama let himself in, carrying a large bag of groceries filled with all of Hiei's favorite foods. He froze as he saw Hiei sleeping on the couch, then tiptoed past, setting the bag on the kitchen counter.

The fox quickly checked for Yukina, finding her in the bedroom, picking up the remnants of one of Kurama's lamps. "What happened?" he asked softly.

The girl sighed. "Hiei woke up and broke this while he was trying to find the door." She swept the rest of the glass into a dustpan. "He's asleep on the couch."

"I know," Kurama murmured. "I'm going to start cooking dinner."

* * *

Hiei awoke to a very enticing smell. He quickly realized that he was starving and got to his feet. Feeling his way around furniture, he made his way to the kitchen and pulled himself into a chair.

Kurama hadn't seen Hiei yet. He pulled the home-made lasagna from the oven and turned to set it on the table. He nearly dropped it when he saw Hiei sitting at the table. Carefully, he set the pan on the table, smiling at Hiei gently. The fire demon didn't even look at him. Kurama frowned. "Hello Hiei."

The sanjiyan jumped, turning toward the sound of his voice. "Kurama? Where are you?"

The fox flinched as he realized that Hiei's eyes were looking toward him, but weren't focused. The fire demon was blind. Kurama walked around the table and knelt beside the fire demon, hugging him tightly. "Right here, itooshi."

Hiei returned the hug, feeling safe in his fox's arms. "Kurama? Yukina told me what you did...That you saved me. And your family..." The fire demon trailed off uncertainly.

Kurama hugged him even tighter. "You're worth it, koibito. I was so worried!" They stayed like that for a long time, until a timer went off on the oven. "Let me get that and we can eat dinner."

Hiei let the fox go, listening to Kurama take something that smelled absolutely wonderful out of the oven. He heard somebody enter the kitchen. "Hello, Yukina."

Yukina jumped. "Hello, 'Niisan. Did you rest well?" The boy nodded. "Good." She sat down across from him.

Kurama pulled a chair closer to Hiei when he sat at the table. "I made your favorite, koibito. "Lasagna and garlic bread. And for dessert, there's sweet snow." He ran a hand through the fire demon's hair and kissed his forehead. "Would you like some?"

The fire demon nodded, leaning against Kurama's side contentedly as the fox filled their plates. Hiei picked up at fork and found the lasagna. He stabbed at it, bringing the fork to his mouth. Before he could eat it, the lasagna fell off the fork. Hiei tried again and again, but the same thing happened. Finally Hiei picked up the garlic bread and ate that, ignoring the lasagna, feeling totally humiliated.

Kurama watched Hiei's cheeks flush in embarrassment as he struggled with the lasagna, eventually just giving up. Finally, Hiei just sat, having eaten only his garlic bread, a closed, upset look on his face.

The fox swallowed a bit of lasagna and put his fork down, then pulled Hiei into his lap, kissing the back of the fire demon's neck lightly. "Let me do it," he whispered softly. Carefully, he speared a bite of lasagna and fed it to Hiei, massaging the fire demon's thigh as he did so.

Yukina watched as the two lovers ate together, relieved that Hiei had forgiven Kurama. They belong together. They love each other so much... When they had all eaten their fill, Yukina stood up. "I'll do the dishes, Kurama-kun."

"Arigato, Yukina-chan." Kurama smiled gratefully at the Koorime. He got up, still holding Hiei. "We'll get out of your way." He carried Hiei to the bedroom, and Yukina heard the distict sound of the lock being turned.

Smiling, she carried the plates to the sink, drowning out the noises coming from the bedroom with the running water.


Hey minna! I'm baaack! I couldn't separate Hiei and Kurama. It's just impossible at least for me. In this fic. For now. *evil grin* A few more chapters, then I'll write the lemon prequel! Y'know, yet another fic about how Hiei and Kurama became a *ahem* active couple. Anyhoo, I hope y'all liked this chapter! (I know I did! ;) )


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